Wednesday, January 27, 2010

.old friend.

.2 years ago around this time, I had a very special friendship with someone. we were good friends and then something changed and it wasn't necessarily clear as to why things changed. i guess we got older and people started getting more attention but we fell off. honestly at first i was hurt by it and i completely ignored that person. i made it seem as if they didn't exist. that friendship that we had was turning into something that i regretted because of the way that i was made to feel. i tried to reach out and i was told "i like to hang out with you when i do, and that's that." i was completely dismissed, so after that I really acted like they didn't exist. last semester they would occasionally say hi, of course everything is awkward but we would be cordial when we made eye contact. -which we normally do. pretty much everyday that we see each other we know that the other one is there and we have eye contact. but they just walk right past me. they speak to everyone but me. it's as if i've scorned them and it's crazy but i didn't do anything. the last thing i did was reach out and i got rejected in a disrespectful way. but what i don't understand and what's really bothering me is the fact that i'm being treated as if my existence no longer matters.

`i normally play that role. you know, of forgetting people and allowing them to blend in with the wall. that role isn't normally played on me. i don't like it. "/

.sometimes i wish that we could still be friends as we were 2 years ago.

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