Wednesday, May 12, 2010

.does he do like i do it?.

.because i've recently put ends to my previous "relationship"-or whatever it was, i've really been anxious to experience what i've been missing. i want to go on dates and spend time with someone who wants to do that with me. i want to share my secrets with someone. i want to feel special. i want someone to give me the attention that i need and not just what they feel like giving me. i want someone to make me laugh and blush. i just want to feel special. i want to know that i matter to someone, rather than simply guessing and hoping that you think about me.i've been in such a slump in terms of relationships that i'm growing impatient as i await whomever to enter my life. but i have to wait, just as i've been waiting.

.it's just been really hard because coming home i realize just how much i've outgrown it here. [i'm mainly talking about my hometown]. most of the people that i used to associate myself with no longer hold my attention or desire. everyone seems to be stuck in our old ways and haven't grown yet. it's so frustrating because i'm not about that life anymore. i low key feel like an outcast, like i don't fit in. which means i probably won't meet someone that holds my attention. i met this guy the other day who told me he JUST STARTED READING. that while he was in school that he only read the first 15 pages. are you serious? i laughed. he couldn't be serious. that's ridiculous. i can't wait to go out. maybe because i haven't been out yet that's why i'm feeling this way.

`new chapter in my life, i've already turned the page. i'm ready for the new chapter for real this time. time to stop doing all the compromising and find someone who is willing to compromise for me this time.

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