Wednesday, July 20, 2011

.money on mind.

Since I've been home from France, I probably have applied to about 100+ jobs. Jobs that are both in and out of my field. I got a job at the airport but I didn't want to take that, way too boring and I got a job at a summer camp. I went with the camp because I work well with kids and it is a guaranteed daily different experience. I do wish that I something else that I applied to would have came through but things are for reasons right? -I suppose.

I've also been on several, well three, interviews that relate to my degree. I'm really trying to get in the industry. It's so scary because all of my experience, is now and if I wait say two or three years, than my experience will be irrelevant especially with things ever changing. UGH. It drives me insane thinking about it.

I need to make enough money so I can move out. This just isn't working. Yes people may have it worse, I totally agree, but given the circumstances and the outcome, it's better for me just to move out.

I think about that daily. About making at least one of my dreams come true and moving out. That's the fresh start that I'm desperately yearning for. I need my own space and my opportunity. It's pretty much all that's important to me right now. I have my moments, but that's my main focus.

I taste it when I eat, I smell it when I breathe, I see it when I close my eyes. I can't even sleep at night because it's constantly on my mind.

I feel helpless.

1 comment:

Ashley A. said...

GIRL. This was my life. I only recently got the PA gig in Philly and I absolutely adore it, but getting it? Good Lord, I felt like my life was on complete and total pause mode, I wanted to scream. I won't be able to move out for a long time though because as it stands, this is a part-time position and I have to work my way to full time, so enjoy the free room and board for now, lol. I completely feel you though, the 2.5 months that I had NO JOB, I was at my lowest point. I swear I wanted to give up on the entire industry.