Wednesday, December 17, 2008

.boy i'd rather be with you.

.due to my lifetime movie life, a lot of people often ask me if i want to be in a relationship and after two long nights of just pondering this question, i've come to the conclusion that i indeed do what to be in a relationship. but i want to be in one with him.

.i know that you told me that i shouldn't wait for you, and i'm not waiting for you at all, but as our friendship progresses and we continue to be more and more honest with eachother, i see that you are the person that i am waiting for. idk if that make any sense but i'm not in a relationship and never have been in one because i feel that there isn't the right guy out there that can quite handle me and appreciate all of this amazingness, yet it's the little things that you show me that let me know that you do and it's sucks that you posess these but we can't be. the steps you have to take are easy ones but i respect your precautions, however, i want to be with you. i'm finally ready to take that step? it's pretty scary because it's something that i've never experienced before. but i don't want to feel stupid. because in reality the only thing stopping us is you and there is something that is stopping you. maybe i've thought too much into this, but at this point i feel that i deserve to have thought that much. the main reason why i let go is because i feel like no matter what your feelings may be for me, they will never be that strong that one day you can say i'm yours.

.i guess the possibility of us being more will continue to remain as i wonder. but i'm thinking should i really remain friends with you as our friendship continues to grow as well as my feelings? should i just cut the ties? but i look forward to each day that i speak to you or get to see you. what am i doing? i don't want to get stuck into that position forever with you. something tells me i won't, but what if.

.i hate thinking sometimes.

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