.about that last entry.
`i realllly don't want things to end up badly and i reallly hope i didn't come off mean or rude or anything like that. i'm not mad that you don't want to be my boyfriend. i don't even know if i want one. i kind of wish i could take the whole conversation back, but that wouldn't be fair to you, right? i was just hurt at how i was dismissed. like how could you want me just out of your life? were you lying to me the whole time? those things go through my head e v e r y d a y*; e v e r y h o u r*; i ponder. like you really made me feel different these past weeks.you say i deserve better, but how do you know what i deserve. i mean i want to know that you cared*, but you just change on me so quickly, how can i be sure?
.but hey whatever dude. can't change it/can't go back.
i shall keep you updated.