.i hate being the aggressor. i hate having to initiate that i like someone or have a crush. like why can't the guy just understand that i'm feeling him and then come and get me. i'd love to be tamed. argue and be rude back. make it interesting. when i say rude not like disrespectful lol but when i'm sassy, i need you to be equally sassy or witty. that is so attractive to me. i need you to listen, to pay attention to the little details, then spring them on me when i least expect it to remind me that you were paying attention. i want someone to take charge sometimes. pull me close and let me know what it is. i don't want him to be demanding and overly controlling but when the time is right, i need that to be done. of course it will be equal and when it's time for me to dominate i will. but i'm just tired of having to do it. i really like aggression. i like wit. i like passion. i like a listener. i like to have fun. i like to play fight. i like to have serious discussions.
`my friend tells me that i run away from new crushes because of how i was treated by someone in my past. and that's not it. it's just that the new guys don't always seem to hold my attention. it's like i say or do things and they don't get it. and then when i'm blunt and just say what i want, then they still act dumb!!!
bottom line is that i'm having a really hard time accepting the fact that I HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME and that is just something that i'm going to have little tantrum and fits about until i finally accept it lol. yeah it's childish, but I DON'T WANNA DO IT!!!! *insert scream, little kick, and pout here*