Monday, April 19, 2010


.today a friend of mine expressed to me that she thought that i was selfish. she felt that since i don't inquire about her and the things that are going on in her life, i'm a selfish person and probably that i don't care. that's totally false. i do in fact care. but she's never really let me in to begin with. a normal conversation (in my eyes) consist of me telling her about everyone in my family and giving her updates on the situations that happen. i think she's told me a couple of things, but it's rare. she's expressed to me from the beginning that she's a personal person and i understood. i felt like maybe it wasn't my place to go to the places that she didn't want me to be. and that's ok. i am ok with the fact that she keeps things and feelings to herself. so much to the point that i can never tell when anything is wrong with her. when i on the other hand, can't sleep, i get antsy, i cry, and i get attitudes when there are things wrong with me. all i know is what she tells me and what she doesn't tell me.

maybe i could have paid more attention and inquire about her family, friends, and current relationship more.

maybe she could have recognized that she never invited me in, so i'm discouraged to even try.

maybe things will change.

maybe they won't.

i can't help that i'm me and she's her. she may be able to read my mind but i am definitely not the mind reader. i just felt bad that she thought that i was selfish. that's not what i am. but i fear that if i kept quiet about the things that happen in my life, that's all there would be. quiet.

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