Wednesday, August 3, 2011

.the sun will come out tomorrow.

So I have a friend, who is STRICTLY a friend.(Somehow I always get caught up being too nice to people and letting people that I have no intentions of falling for like me smh.) Anyway, we have been hanging out a lot and it's really cool because I'm so normal around him. I never think "what does this mean or what does that mean". It's actually a group of guys that I hang out with. My friends from elementary and middle school, the same guys I went to the beach with. They are all white guys and it's funny being the only, black girl. They make their jokes and it's funny to me. They don't say anything offensive of course, but they do say things that I would typically say which is always definitely extreme or sarcastic. I really enjoy hanging out with them.

So there is one of them in particular who is always down to hang out. Whom I think secretly has a crush. I was venting to him, like I do with all my friends about boring summer, and told him I was going to go to Barnes and Noble. He asked if he could tag alone and I didn't mind. While we were in the store I was walking around telling him about all the books that I've picked up, which happens to be a lot, and I mentioned some books that will definitely be a soon purchase. Well today we grabbed Panera and he told me that he had gum for me in the glove department of his car, so I go to look and it was a book wrapped in regular writing paper LOL (in highschool he bought me a Christmas gift and wrapped it in tin foil LOL) and it was the book 'Beloved' by Toni Morrison! I was soo surprised!! It was soo sweet of him to do that for me and I definitely wasn't expecting that at ALL.

No one, except for my mom, does anything like that for me. I asked why and he said "You make me want to do nice things for you." No one is ever that nice to me and No one ever just wants to do nice things for me. Ok maybe he likes me and yea I need to tell him probably tomorrow that we are just friends like we've been for years, but he doesn't love me. There have been people that are my friends or that I've liked for years that never make me feel so good about just being me or that have never done something to small and thoughtful as that. I barely get Christmas gifts out of them! It's funny because lately, well for the past 3 weeks, I've really been hard on myself. Blaming myself and wondering what was wrong with me. And here my friend goes doing something just because.

It definitely feels good to be reminded of how deserving and special I am just for being sarcastic, silly, talkative me.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." -I really can't say that enough. This gesture really makes me re-evaluate all of my friendships and relationships.

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