Tuesday, November 8, 2011

.Ordered the Jerk -You are what you eat.

You are what you eat.

I find myself evaluating myself and these crazy situations that I find myself in and I can't help but wonder where in the world did I get this from? How did I end up here? I don't deserve this and why am I attracting this? And I'm always checking myself because I don't need the karma, but I don't get where this comes from. I've always tried my best to "do what's right" and "stick to the script."

I am not what or who you are. How did I end up there, here? I don't even get upset with the person involved. I'm mainly upset with myself for being so naive and believing that I won't get lied to or hurt. Not deliberately. Nah that's not going to happen.

I know this person who on a social networking site, portrays himself to be someone that he just completely isn't. He's claiming that he's a changed person, credits higher beings, and even gives women advice on how to stay away from the guy THAT IN REALITY IS HIM. It disgusts me. I remove myself from even seeing that. Who are you in real life? && If you are this changed man, why do you refuse to show that change to me? It's not that I'm hopeful, because honestly I don't expect anything from this person. If they wanted to do the right things and be that person, they would & that's with anyone. I don't believe the hype and I don't believe in this "changed" person. They are lonely and without because of the karma that they've put out into the world. It's just bothersome. They aren't deserving of my time and I won't give it to them anymore. I know this person isn't going to change for me or for anyone because they refuse to change for themself.

A problem that I seem to have is allowing people who don't deserve me, have access to me. I give second chances, I entertain the conversations, I geniunely care and feel. I've been down this road and honestly, I've had enough.

:) thanks though.

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