So Monday I start my new job in New York City. Super excited about it. I really wanted to move to LA. I was actually going to be out of here by May, but I got this job which is BOMB because I was going out there on a limb lol. I just really need a break from Jersey. I've been in this routine of "doing what's right" and "sticking up for myself" and no matter how many months have gone by, I hate it. I'm hurting, and I'm unhappy. This job is my life saver because I was slowly dying. Just blending in with the days. Gotten used to this gray, emptiness and BOOM! Some light, some hope is back for me and I am ecstatic. This really restored my faith. Such a happy time for me right now. I love being in the city especially for work. Gives me a sense of importance and makes me feel like a real adult. Not a little girl crying over things that aren't working out for me. Im a pretty patient person, so I thought, but this really taught me to be patient.
I'm just so happy that this happened to me. There's been instances in both my professional life and personal life where I felt like I wasn't good enough. And that hurt me because I always give 100 percent into what I love and desire. There are only two things in my heart that I really wanted and I didn't have any of it and I cried about it everyday. I didnt think I'd ever get this that maybe, I didn't deserve it and I wasn't good enough. That someone else belonged where I should be. I was really going through it and I went through it alone. No safety net to fall back on. Just me and God.
And here I am, working in the field I love. Dream come true. I'm such a hopeful person and a lot of people recently told me that I believe too much in Hollywood, watched too many movies, tried to shoot me down. But here I am. Starting my career doing something I want to do. Proving that I'm worth it. The next couple of months that's all I'll be doing. Proving myself.
The only speckle of sadness for me during this time would be that I can't share this happiness with the person who made me the happiest. They should be here celebrating with me. Success is wonderful but it can't hold you at night. But just like I waited, wanted, cried, and prayed for this to save me, something else will come. And I'll be the happiest girl in the world, having tickle fights all night.
The only thing stopping you, is you!!