You're starting to test my patience.

There's a fine line between being impatient and plotting your next move. Well at least that's what I've discovered. I ask for something and instead of living in the now and actually enjoying the "chapter" or "paragraph" of my autobiography, I'm already mocking up the next volume of the story. 

Am I impatient towards reaching my goal? Or am I simply plotting my next move? Putting my best foot forward? When do I actually get to enjoy what's happening in the now of my life? You know, sit back and smell the coffee? (Is that even the phrase? Haha) I'm always trying to get to my "happiness" without enjoying the climb. 

I realized this weekend, life is all about the climb. The goal is already set and out there. It's about how I get there and what I encounter. I also learned so much about how hard everything is. Nothing comes easy. Everything is a constant prove session. Proving you deserve, exist, and you're qualified, you know capable to handle the throws of the task at hand. I always thought that your career was the hardest part of life, but everything is work. Everything. Everyone.

I'm learning to focus more on what I have than what I want. Of course, I don't want to lose sight of the goal. I have to pay attention to the doors that are opening, but I don't know, I just feel like personally I get lost in the routine of things and I forget to just enjoy. To be young and happy and carefree. Maybe it's the business I'm in and the lust I pursue.

I'm excited about the shift in my life. The learning and taking in all that I see around me as I climb. Letting the doors actually open rather than continue to twist the knob on a locked door. Just being until I hear that unlock.