Ever be in a relationship -whether it's friendship, romantic friendship/relationship or even a work relationship -and you're constantly the one to blame? No matter how much you try to make the effort?
Ever take the time out to look in the mirror and figure out what YOU'RE bringing to the situation? Can the issues be solved without complaining to the other person about their flaws and faults? What then needs to change? Is it your delivery vs. their actions? Personally I don't care to change for someone who constantly tells me that it's my fault or points out my flaws. However, I make a conscious effort to change those flaws that were brought to light. Am I then justified for not caring because they don't care to meet me half way? And by half way I mean that person accepting and coming to terms with that certain "flaws" in my personality are just part of who I am?
I'm currently in both situations.
I'm the one pointing my finger and I'm the one getting pointed at. I recognize my efforts to accommodate one person while feeling bad for always bringing out the negative in the other. I'm all for constructive criticism, especially when you know that the person is capable of so much more, but when is enough, enough? Can you go back to normal after already causing damage? Do you then walk away because the mental exhaustion is just that, exhausting? Who wants to be the person that's always nagging or who can't just seem to get anything right?
This is a fear of mine. That I'm not doing things right. It has nothing to do with being "good enough." I know that I'm good enough but there's always room for growth and no one is perfect. I guess it's just a thing where you need to go case by case. If you're constantly telling someone that they are hurting your feelings and they never change, that's just unhealthy and you should then walk away right? Right. Why stick around when you're always being told negative things. I honestly prefer to be around positive energy and I would hope that others would too.
I just feel conflicted because I am pointing my finger at someone. I don't want to be a hypocrite. But they purposely behave certain ways! They make no effort at all to meet me half way. It's just mean and feels like pay back, like some kind of torture. I guess there's nothing else to say there. We all play different roles in different people's lives.
Essentially all a relationship is, is two people who can put up with each other's stupid. We aren't made for everyone.