This weekend was one of those silent weekends for me. Time to reset. Rethink. Replan. Reconcur.
It ended up going really well until the nth hour. All week I was dodging the drama and whatever synonym that exists for the word "bullshit," -ya know the petty work mishaps, weak insults from an upset lover, the usual. And then something unspeakable happened. I literally had no words and I screamed out for 20 minutes. Just AHHHHHH.
Yesterday at work, someone asked me how my weekend was - I'm assuming they saw my swollen face and whispery voice - and the only thing that came to my mind was that image of Jesus when he was getting beaten as he was heading to the top of the mountain where he would be crucified. Where he would reach to his left, his right in attempt to stand but kept getting beat down. That's how I felt emotionally.
Emotional abuse is real. Just because you can't see the bruises, doesn't mean that they aren't there. That's not just for the lover of mine that will occasionally read this blog but that's also for me. Something everyone needs to remember. It's about self love, self healing and self progress. We are all the doers and receivers here.
Anywhos, here I am today, grateful for that dark moment.
It's only because of the darkest moments that I so appreciate the brightest moments.
And this morning, the sun began to creep into my studio earlier than yesterday (I think daylight savings is approaching) and I felt free. Refreshed. Happy. I hopped out of bed and turned my swag on. Danced in the mirror, sang some songs, kissed myself in the mirror.
I'm grateful for those hard moments. I'm excited for the change that they are bringing.