Monday, October 10, 2016

Darker and Colder

The weather patterns are back to how it was when things changed.
This is the last part of the test. If I can make it through this year, the years to follow should be a piece of cake.

Here I am again, feeling the cold breeze that's back to remind me.
The sun isn't shining as long as it used to. I'm back to being engulfed in the darkness. Trying to make my final escape from this dark hole.

The fall leaves are dropping my hopes and enthusiasm that I planted during the spring full of promise. The let downs are falling one last time.

I'm cautiously awaiting for the snow, the final burial. Putting to rest the dreams that will never come true. Learning to accept in the darkness.

Almost at one year. If I can make it through 2016, I can make it another year.

The coldest winter ever is approaching. I've made it this far.

I don't even feel the same. I am searching so deep for optimism. For faith. I feel so hopeless. I am afraid to try. i feel so numb. I feel forgotten. How do I fix me? Where do I begin? What do I even say?

I just need to face this cold winter and it will be over before I know it.

I wish I was stronger. I hope I'm stronger in 2017.