Thursday, October 2, 2008

.i'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears;but i'm scared of [loving you].

.its funny how i told myself that i'd never let you back in, and here you are slowing making your way back. but this time i'm very cautious of what's going on. will i let you back in and and will you do the same to me? i mean things aren't even all the way clear with the circumstances and situations that have come our way, but yet time and time again you push me away but come right back and allow me to get to that place of comfort. is it that you enjoy making me look like a fool. do you like making a fool of me? or is it that you sincerly want me to be in your life? it's funny how i can watch some many different people walk in and out of my life with no emotion or reaction, but with you its different. you have the ability to change me and i don't like it at all. you make me question myself, and even ponder why you do this to me. like loving you is the scariest thing ever. and when i met you, i wasn't looking for love or anything like that, even when things were growing between us, i didn't intend for anything to be that way but i find myself here, feeling these things. and the scariest thing, is that i find myself here-alone. like how could i be so blind and not see the signs of things. it makes me disgusted with myself. disgusted with you. but despite all my disgusts, i always seem to forgive you and myself. i'm so scared of what you are and my feelings for you.

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