.so that's really been in my mind these past couple of days. this whole poker face that i put on. i mean i put it on when i have to but is it really worth it if at the end of the day he can't read it?- he can't read me.
.that makes me think about a lot of females that i know. i mean people say that they are misunderstood, ignored and all that but what is that you are giving out to the world to see? are you putting up a facade so that others will be impressed? and it's crazy because i see so many of my friends poker faces and all i do is shake my head and sigh but now i'm thinking, wait- what does my poker face read?
.it must read something if things are going the way that they are. and i mean i don't want to sit here and blame the person that is reading the wrong information. i'm not that kind of girl. i don't like to sit and blame another person because to me, it's like i don't trust them. when i think about maybe he's just saying this, or she's just doing that.. i hate not trusting. so when i feel like people aren't reading me correctly, i have to check my poker face and if my face is the reflection of how i feel and they are still whack about it, then i know that it is their fault for the issue rather than mine.
.ugh. idk if this makes any sense to you- but it's just been lingering in my mind. maybe i should take down my poker face and show ..me.. but because of my blind eyes to the real world, i'm afraid that i'd get hurt again..
.pain is pleasure right?.