.honesty is the best policy.

first a foremost, to be absolutely honest with you,

[every since my friend was murdered, i haven't been 100% me. i always knew what and who he was to me, and he knew the same. i just didn't know that he always wouldn't be here. he's buried close to my house which is also hard to deal with. i'm not exactly finished healing. i never felt this kind of pain. maybe because he was taken so unexpectedly. i'm trying my hardest, taking each day as it comes. i don't talk about it much, but it's there. so if i'm weird acting, or abnormally quiet, or just all over the place, maybe that's why. i just really miss my friend]

so since then, i've been sort of lacking something. this summer is hands down an amazing time, despite it's lack of Chaz and other normalcies but this summer is wonderful. but i've been lacking. and i was really going crazy last week lol *some of you may know* and this weekend pretty much topped off a crazy week.

`thursday i went to my internship (which is bomb and i'll blog about later towards the end) and after i went to Queens and when i got there i found out that i would be going to brooklyn to this bowling alley for a girl who graduated birthday. i had noo clue how i was going to get in, but i got this girl's ID since i have some time before i turn 21 and got in and had soo much fun. the dj was ?UEST LOVE and he was playing all Michael Jackson in memory of his life, and if you don't know, I'M A HUGE MJ FAN! so once the drinks settled in and kept on coming, i was really grooving. it was really nice. :) the next day was a wild adventure that i can't blog about. lol however Saturday, my car started acting dumb. it cuts on but its acting wild. -great. i ended the night though going to a little shing-ding with Bentley because my mom and Sahara are out of town this weekend (finally the house and time to myself to be meee aloneeee) and we had a good time. i ran into some people that i wasn't expecting to lol that was interesting. all in all everything that happened needed to happen and the people that were supposed to be there, were there.

.thank you life.