I don't feel like a loser. No that's not it at all. However, looking on the social networking sites (because of course that's where you go to see such things!) and seeing who is a part of the "cool" crowd, definitely let's me know that I'm not a part of that. Not that I want to be of course. I actually feel wonderful being on the outside. Looking in, I see a lot of people trying to be something that they aren't. Speaking like others, dressing like some, talking about things that they have no idea about. Flashing and flossing when they live in their parents house in the hood. I'm not judging and I'm not hating and most importantly, I'm not jealous. But I am going to say what it is I observe, and that's it. It's so weird so see my "peers" try so hard. Just be you. There's nothing wrong with how you are and who you are.
Weird. Odd. Those are two of many things I'm called. I know that they aren't meant in a negative -"You can't sit at this table" way, but I HATE being called those names. It has no positive or complimentary feeling associated with it. Not for me anyway. But I gladly wear those words. I don't want to try to blend in and sweat the next person just to be seen or be in with the "cool" kids. I'm not going to floss and flash things just to do it. I mean sure, if you work hard for it then show it. But there's a way and a place for everything. I don't know just be you. I'm fine being me and not being in the cool crowd. I don't need that big scene. I'm good with my little circle of friends who aren't out with me because of my connections or how I look or how I dress. I'm impressing all the right people. Everything I'm not really made me everything I am.
Someone out there is really appreciating it and no matter how weird, odd, crazy I am, they stick around and LOVE it. (Though we really need some new words to describe me.)