I don't know how many times I have to express this. I shouldn't have to and this is the last time I say this. I can't be your friend if you don't do anything with me. Once a year of "hanging" out isn't a friendship. It isnt anything. Doesn't matter what kind of person that you or what you don't like to do. Everyone goes to the movies or goes out to eat. I'm so tired of reaching and trying and understanding. No more. I dont want to talk all the time and never hang out. There's only one person in the world who refuses to do things with me. According to that person out of 6 years of knowing eachother we've done 6 things together. What real friendship can count the amount of things you do? I have a real issue with that. Every other friendship I have, we hang out. Whether it be I invite them over or they invite me over, we hang out and spend time. I'm a social person and I enjoy creating moments with people. I'm not states away anymore. I'm not in college anymore. Having friendships that are only limited to text messages isn't cool or interesting to me. I don't need another friend to text. I'm in my early twenties, just started working a good job, I want to look back on these times and laugh and smile about the crazy things and adventures I've had. Not the massive amount of text messages. Compromise. There are things I want to do that my friends may not always want to do but once in a while they'll do it and vice versa. But to always hear no, I don't like doing this or that? Don't take it personal? Yea right! Yea right!
That isn't a friendship. That's not a friendship that I like. That doesn't make me feel good. Makes me feel like you don't want to be around me. Oh you don't like to do things with anyone? I didn't think I was just anyone.
Maybe I do complain too much. A guy I used to date, -who was super trife but did everything I asked of him even if was completely different from his comfort zone like have tickle fights with me, we go out to the movies, have movie nights, we'd make up silly stories (which he really hated lol), we'd play games together, we spent every week together for 6 months!!- once told me to stop complaining and do something about it. Well I see that in this friendship, I'm the only one who tries and I'm tired of reaching. How many times can I ask? The answer is pretty obvious. Time to do something about it.
Funny how this friend reminds me so much of my dad. Smh. Unavailable and I know yet I can't stop reaching. Hoping that I become important. Well time to do something about it. That's the one thing I'm so grateful about Mr. Trife. And even though I shouldn't be and there's no reason to, I have been thinking about him a lot. He didn't care about my feelings and used me, but he was there and made efforts. That's what makes him trife. Smh ugh whatever.
I'm typing too much.
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