I've been avoiding my true and honest answer for years. Y E A R S. However, I'm ready to be completely real and open. I admit it.
Because I was so afraid to admit, I could never accept. No, it wasn't how I planned. What I thought would be. I'm finally accepting it for what it is. Flaws and all. I accept that it isn't what I thought it was. I accept my part. I accept the choices, decisions, and feelings.
That's how far I've gotten so far.
Honestly admitting and accepting has been the best things for me. I admit to how I feel and what I want and I accept that it isn't happening my way. I've acknowledge the root of my confusion. No more pretending. No more fronting. It helps me move on. No more wishing I said or did this.
And NO MORE REACHING!! Ahh finally.