It wouldn't be life if there wasn't a new lesson learned.
I know it's been a while and for that, I don't have much to say. Things have been busy but it's mainly because I wanted to make sure that I didn't react too quickly or overreact.
I've learned a lot about "friendship" in these past couple of months. To give a quick synopsis on a couple of messy situations, I've basically experienced a lot of confusion in certain friendships, that new to me, I didn't immediately address once noticed. There were behaviors that were causing me to use this fresh approach to how I handled things.
Which was to (#1) not take things so personally. Yes, it was quite obvious from not just my observations but third-party confirmation that things were happening with a little shade, however my response wasn't so combative, confrontational or loud. I just observed, learned and relearned the way people moved and are probably still moving.
I then (#2) looked at myself to see where and if I was misplacing blame. I was going through a lot of changes that naturally had effects on my emotions so I wanted to make sure I wasn't looking to place blame on my friends/family/lovers in order to deal (or not deal) with the confusion that I was in.
After that, I (#3) gave it to God. This step is key to my feeling good. I didn't really find anything that I was truly embarrassed about, so I prayed that God would show me what I'm missing and would continue to bless the party(parties) involved. I didn't want to change who I am because of something I didn't really understand. I won't be petty or sneaky or even match the shadiness that I felt. That part was very hard but I just didn't want to give someone a reason to mistreat me, despite the thoughts and advice to do otherwise.
-The Wrap Up-
We only have so much emotional energy each day. "DON'T FIGHT BATTLES THAT DON'T MATTER." I learned that though this is my friend, someone who has good intentions, someone who has shown immense loyalty to me, it's okay to not give it emotional energy. It's okay to let time pass without mentioning an issue that may not really and truly have anything to do with you. It's okay to observe someone close to you be shady, disloyal or whatever the personal infliction may be. What's not okay is fighting a battle that doesn't matter. Giving life to something that's meant to be dead.
I hope that somehow, whoever is reading this, can embrace these steps that have helped me with dealing with people close to you. If you're able to move on from some kind of issue, it's completely okay to keep a distance. There's a friend of mine who will always be at arm's reach and though that person has the best intentions, the amount of negativity and constant shade is LOUD. It's something I can't ignore but it no longer bothers me because of the distance that's there.
That's all I've got while I deal with life. :)
How are you?!