Tuesday, August 26, 2008

.i forgive you- but i ain't gonna forget.

.this past weekend has been pretty devastating for me. the person whom i deeply loved and cared for no longer has interest in me and that's a tough cookie to swallow. aside from that, this summer was not all that i expected it to be. my family is going through serious issues and everything and almost everyone that i thought i could fall on to make things right, disappointed me. but i would definitely have to say that this weekend was the icing on the cake.

.but i wanted to say that though i've cried and had the swollen eyes, red face, headaches, sickness in my stomach and this pain in my heart, after everyone told me that they were right and that i should have let you go a long time ago, i can find it in my heart to forgive you. yes i hate what you've done to me and what you've made me feel, but i forgive you. forgiving you will make me a better person and it won't let me hate you and keep this feeling inside towards you that i was never supposed to have. i was only supposed to love you, so doing the opposite is what's not normal for me.

.however, though i've forgiven, i didn't forget. i will never forget this and though i'm young and i'm new to this, i will look at this as a lesson learned. i've learned from my mistakes and yours. so even if our paths do cross in the future, i will never forget about the pain that you may be able to give me again. i will now look both ways when i cross the street, not that i didn't before, but i will definitely double, no triple check because having me not be myself is something i will never forget. i'm not being myself and i don't like that i'd allow you do to this. i was here and happy before you were ever allowed into my heart.

.i wish you the best and complete happiness.

[title from Two Wrongs by Wyclef Jean- qouted directly from Claudette Ortiz]

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