Thursday, March 12, 2009

.can't tell me nothing.

.many people don't believe in the things that other people say. you know, when you're friend says for the 100th time that she's never going to talk to him again, or when he's like he's quit drinking? well i'm going to be the one that stands up to that thing i said i was going to quit! i'm tired of people just automatically assuming that whenever i'm sad or down it's because of him, or if i'm acting goofy it's because i had to have done that? why can't they just believe that this is what i'm going to do?! i know that i've said things time and time again about how i'm not going to do this or that, but still ugh. that just bothers me. i have faith in myself! so therefore you should too!

.so i'm home! :] yay. but i'm always kind of scared to be back home. there are just soo many memories here. some that are good, some that are bad, some that feel good, some that don't feel so good. but finally i feel a change in my going back and dealing with memories. it's like i don't feel like that anymore, i've seen how i've grown up. i went to the center yesterday and lol oh boy! i saw young girls looking at the boys and i just thought about myself and how i was wrapped up in this boy who was doing absolutely NOTHING for himself. smh selling drugs, about to do a bid, and i was just sooooooooo infatuated with this GOON! lol. smh. that's something that i'd like to forget. but i remember when i was sad with him because he got this girl pregnant [smh that little girl] i thought that was thee worst feeling ever and that i'd never get over it lol. i got over it a year later. maybe because i was young, maybe because i came into something new, idk but whatever the case may be i'm over it but i remember feeling like i would never be over it. like that was it for me lol. so going back to the center yesterday and thinking about all the times i ran down that street from people with guns lol but i've realized that the pain does truly pass and then you'll look back at it and laugh. i know that i was cracking up. i'm so ready to embrace the future and all the joys and pains that come along with it.

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